When I went for my chemo on December 17th, the doctor told me that it was my last chemo in my treatment, and that the last 2 treatments (January 7 and 14) would be the Retuxan alone. I was surprised and a bit shocked by this news.
Then they will allow my body to rest for 2 months to give the toxins and chemicals time to leave my body before they conducted tests. These 2 tests are the bone marrow biopsy and a catscan and they are taking place in March. These tests will let us know how my body has responded to the treatments and what is going on, etc. My doctor did mention again that my organs are not normal – there is a lot of scarring and they will be monitoring me every 3 months with tests to make sure that the that the scarring is either the same or has reduced, etc.
I was so surprised by this - I was not prepared to hear this news -and so my emotions were mixed - I felt both glad and cautious – the double-edged sword, if you will. Continue praying please!
In any case, I went in on January 7th for my Retuxan treatment and was in an open treatment area that accommodates 4 stations. Since the Retuxan takes me anywhere from 8-10 hours (it’s a very long arduous day), I see people come in and out of my area all day long.
Some come in for chemo, and others for blood transfusion, etc. The last few people that were there were women with breast cancer. It was very emotional to hear their stories. One woman had been in remission for 14 years and the cancer had returned – this time it was in her remaining breast and had spread to her lungs and kidneys (stage 4). Her husband was at her side – they continuously held hands, looked lovingly at each other, and they would laugh, as he would whisper in her ear and she would blush unashamedly at whatever sweet-nothing he had told her. She has been back on chemo since late last year and was sporting the same hairdo I am!
One other woman had been in remission for 3 years and was now also stage 4 - her sister was with her as she had been the last time. She was wearing a beautiful reddish wig that just brought out the green in her eyes so beautifully. The last precious woman there was going through the ordeal for the first time and was accompanied by her daughter. I can tell that she was a bit terrified at the stories of the other 2 ladies since she too had breast cancer. She still had all her beautiful long thick hair and was sure that she was not going to loose it – however, she had noticed that as she brushed her hair that morning, some came out very easily. No one said anything to confirm or deny – we just “hmmmmm”.
My heart was broken – I know because I felt the ache in my heart as I heard their stories. These warriors – these remarkable women! I could see the wisdom of the battle scars etched in their eyes as I looked deeply and searched. They knew I was searching – and I can tell that they saw it in my eyes too. They asked pertinent questions regarding faith which immediately opened the door for me to share about the love and mercy of God. I told them my story…… and was able to share God with them.
They all listened – nodded their heads – shared their experiences about God in their lives – how hard it was to understand – would they be healed – what now – etc. It was definitely a God appointment!
I was very humbled by this encounter – and thanked God for the opportunity to share Him. He uses us everywhere we go – in all situations, we just have to be willing vessels. Most of them were gone by the time I left which was 6pm. Before they left, there were hugs and lots of words of encouragement, and wonderful beautiful smiles……. but the eyes tell all. One of them hung on to me hard and long……. I’m not sure if I’ll see them again, but I do know that God is in their mist and they will be communing with Him more frequently and directly. Praise God – thank you.
My ache was so heavy – I laid it at the feet of my Lord with tears and prayers for these ladies along with all the other people there.
Please pray – if you know someone that has cancer or any other disease for that matter, please – take it from me – be there for them in any form you can be. Calls, cards, visits……. all the same things you all have done so marvellously, beautifully, lovingly and unselfishly for me. I am so very blessed by all of you – I thank God for you every day and am so humbled by your care, concern and love. You have all been God sent – please believe that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Love and blessings to you and yours,
Mildred
